A year since I left...

Holy....cherry blossom.

March 4th 2014 marked the one year anniversary of my gut clenching take-off to Japan. I was thinking about this today as my birthday approaches, remembering turning 23 in Japan after being there for 23 days.

Can we all believe that it's been a whole YEAR since I stepped off a 26 hour travel across the world onto Tokyo soil thinking "What....in the soy sauce am I even doing here?!" It's really funny to think back and laugh at myself feeling overwhelmed and crying in the hotel room my first night looking out the window feeling lost, scared and so completely Westernly uncultured. What an out-of-body experience! Everything is so new that even walking felt like it was the first time I'd ever done it. Here goes this blonde-haired blue-eyed girl stumbling down the airport lobby carrying too much luggage for her shaky body to handle with eyes that look like they'll be dragging on the floor in no time. Haha, as if I didn't stick out already. I must have been a sight for all the well-travelled people or local Japanese as I'm sure they muttered under their breath "this chick is in for a tsunami of a time, best of luck to her".

It really does seem surreal now that I spent a marvellous (okay...looking back it was probably 17% marvellous, 80% CRAZY and 3% frustrating) 6 months in the land of the rising sun. The beauty of it is though that as much as it doesn't seem real....it has completely changed my life forever. I still use the Japanese language semi-regularly; I practice at my volunteering place called Momiji and with my Japanese friends, including those who came to Toronto to practice their English and live lives equally as nonsensical as mine was in Japan. Bless them for their courage! And I miss Japan almost everyday.

I realize also that this post is....BEYOND overdue. I remember promising updates following my return home and I more or less completely did not do it. Oops. But let's leave this short and sweet post with something I've realized since returning to Canada...

Japan....is....everywhere.

I strongly believe that noticing how many times Japan/Japanese culture/Japanese people/the Japanese language finds itself in movies, books, TV shows, literature, trivia, conversation, music etc. is NOT due to my bias caused by my love for Japan. People are literally obsessed with the country and the culture and can't stop talking about it. It's like the "cool" thing if you know Japanese culture or speak some of the language. I mean really...out of all the countries that are possible to include in your script...you chose Japan. If you don't believe me...take a closer listen to what people say in movies to non-main characters (I'm sure there is a real name for these cast members - extras?) likely they'll be speaking Japanese...I'm not kidding. Check out Forgetting Sarah Marshall, True Blood, Goldmember...even TedEX talks! You'll begin to notice the love for Japan that's always in the Western mind.

Even John Mayer "planned a trip to Japan alone"... I am compiling a list that I will be happy to share sometime soon as well. It's mind blowing.

p.s sorry if now you're brain washed to seek out any mention of Japan, but now you know how I feel.

Leaving Japan: thoughts

8:00 pm, 12 hours before departure, standing in the absurd mass of people at Sushiro waiting for our chance to attack the endless stream of conveyor belt sushi, I can already feel my heart slowly contracting. It knows what’s coming and is clinging to Japan with vice grip strength saying “I won’t leave!” Trying to put this feeling at the back of my mind to enjoy my final dinner, my final night and my final hours spent with my new and amazing friends in Japan isn’t easy.

Sushiro, my favourite place in Iizuka, didn’t fail to disappoint as I certainly had a small countries share of shrimp avocado sushi to myself. Glutton. I’m not ashamed to be the one who wasn’t finished with sushi as others are ready to go home after they’ve eaten desert. Ooops, sorry guys “my last meal in Japan”. As I said that, I looked around the table at my friends; Yara, Yukari, Ayumi, Yuko, Chris, Ken…this was the last time I’d be seeing any of them for a very long time. It’s then that it struck me hard…my 6 months in Japan are over and I’m leaving tomorrow morning.

8:00am, Yukari and Ken join me for the car ride to the airport with Yano san. Didn’t he just pick me up when I arrived here in March?! Where did the time go? The car ride was silent as we made our way closer and closer to separating from each other. Leaving them at my departure gate was more difficult than I had imagined. I could make the trip to Narita airport alone, that wasn’t the problem. It was in the seconds that I walked away from the three of them standing just before security, I realized that I was leaving a piece of myself behind. It was like a portion of me, this girl who had been living in Japan, my Japanese self, who had developed inside me without me realizing it, was slowly separating and melting away from me. The girl who shared meals, drinks, words, jokes, quiet moments, laughs so intense her stomach hurt, with these people and in this country…couldn’t come with me. I realized that she lives here, in Japan, because she is the wonderful combination of all of these things, in this place, in this time, together and couldn’t exist where I was going. That was the problem.

Sitting on the small Jetstar plane to Narita was a surreal experience. All I could feel was “I can’t believe it. It came too quickly; I’m not finished here yet.” while my heart swelled up into my throat. Being torn between leaving Iizuka, Fukuoka and my friends from returning home left me with an internal struggle for longer than I was comfortable with. The hardest part was accepting that it was time to leave, and that I had to. And the hardest part was knowing that I was enduring this feeling entirely alone.

With those thoughts rambling around in my mind, I began my 26 hour trip across thousands of miles back to the place I used to call home...

Packing: the ruin-er of all things happy.

I highly dislike packing.

Wait, two bags? How much weight? Is this weight per bag? Oh no...that's for my second flight so I'll have eaten theoe treats already. Hold on...did I check in yet? I've got too many bags! I'm going to need to send things home. How much is this? How much will it cost me if I go over weight? Ohhhh crap I forgot about what I'm wearing TO the airport. I haven't even packed my toiletries yet! Okay, I'm starting again.

...seriously. This can go on forever.

Packing is an art and am I a child clenching a crayon in their fist drawing anywhere but inside the lines.

Sigh. Where is my mother when I need her most? She's a packing superhero! Regardless, I have less than 24 hours left in Japan to figure this all out. I fly out of Fukuoka airport tomorrow morning at 9:45 am and then out of Narita airport in Tokyo at 7:15pm making my way over to Los Angeles then Toronto Pearson bound!
I'll be in transit for just over 26 hours but arriving the same day only 4 hours after I left Narita. Holy jet lag batman. My next few days will be spend in the strange world of airports and airplanes where time doesn't really exist. Here's to a final sushi dinner with friends tonight and all the red wine that Singapore airlines will give me.

Cheers, see you in Canada!

p.s I have no explanation for the lacking of the blogging this month. It's been a roller coaster. I plan on more posts upon my return to Canada. I can't even blog in the airport....I have no keyboard. :| aaaaaanyways.